markgalloway.com

Week before last, while dropping off my kindergartener at school, I watched from the driver’s seat as he ran up to the front door. When he opened it, I noticed how he held it for the kids behind him and kind of waited….as if he were expecting a “friend” to walk in with him. Anyway, after eight or ten children had entered he followed them in. I just assumed that whichever friend he was waiting for didn’t arrive, and so he went in and I didn’t give it another thought….

Until this morning.

This morning I watched the same sequence of events, except I didn’t see him looking for a “friend”. I just saw a sweet, considerate little boy holding the door for a dozen kids, just because it was polite. Besides the obvious pride I felt in this gesture, small though it may be - it made do a lot of thinking.

I realized that the old cliche the best things in life are free deserves a lot of merit.

People spend big money on nice clothes that no-one notices as soon as they open their mouth to speak.

Or, they drive a fancy car that looks like a giant rolling turd after they flip off the little old lady who can barely see over her steering wheel. (Pardon the crude metaphor.)

Or, they spend big bucks on large marketing campaigns, image consultants, copywriters and gimmicks to appear authentic…real….sensitive…..or understanding. (I’m actually talking about business here, not politics, but perhaps it’s all the same!)

Instead, if they were only “nice”, everyone would respect them and the world would be a better place. Here are 8 simple ways you can create a positive, authentic, real, sensitive, and understanding image for free……and easily set yourself apart from the masses!

1 - Hold the door. I can’t believe I’m writing this. I mean, isn’t it common courtesy to hold the door for those behind you? Yet, in my experience, more often than not, most folks don’t act like there’s anyone coming through the door behind them. Oh yeah, in this category you can include raising/lowering the toilet seat, replacing an empty toilet paper roll, waiting until you’re sufficiently in Wal-Mart before you stop your cart to dig for you shopping list, or letting the guy behind you in the check-out lane go ahead with his one item - instead of making him wait for you to go through with your 40 items, and then have to dig for your checkbook, pen and, oh yeah… the 23 coupons that are in the bottom of your shopping cart. You know….common courtesy.

2 - Say “Thank you.” I wondered how many of those kids said, “Thank you” to my little gent? If they’re like their parents, probably 2 or 3 out of the dozen, if he was lucky. People seem to have an entitlement attitude that they deserve to have the door held for them and act oblivious to someone displaying this gesture. This applies to too many situations to list them all. Just say “thank you” when it’s warranted and you will automatically be in the positive minority.

3- Save Critical or Questionable Remarks for Private Conversation. Note that I didn’t say “don’t make critical remarks”, just be sure to use some discretion when you’re in public and watch your words. You know what I mean: Barista making anti-Bush comments while she prepares your mocha; Guy sees pal at gas station and talks about the “wild party” they were at last weekend; old ladies discussing so-and-so’s son in the Furr’s Cafeteria line - “You know, he’s in the penetentiary!”

4 - Know Who, When and How to Complain. Sadly, the guy with the pierced eyebrows and low-slung jeans can’t lower the price of your gasoline purchase, so complaining to him about it only makes you look like a jerk. Even more subtle, the waitress at the restaurant is only responsible for accurately taking your order in a timely manner and politely serving you as promptly as possible - while periodically checking to see if your glass needs to be refilled. She’s not responsible for the menu selections, the meal preparation or the prices. Don’t stiff her on her tip because the cook screwed up or the restaurant raised their prices, omitted your favorite item, etc. If you have a problem with a company or person, take a courteous, yet assertive approach with the problem solver only. That means manager, business owner, Governor, etc.

5 - Don’t be a cheapskate. Speaking of waitresses, make sure when using a restaurant coupon that you calculate her tip based on the total before she applied it to your bill. Sadly, though not surprisingly, for most waitstaff, few people take this into consideration when calculating a tip. Granted, this may not always be intentional cheapness, but it’s still cheapness nonetheless. Worse, is the way some people get so caught up in not spending money, that they end up looking, well - cheap. I know folks with plenty of money who actually serve guests holiday dinners on plastic plates and cups…….and then write everyone’s names on them for reuse at a future holiday meal. Nobody likes a cheapskate, so pull out the fine china at Christmas and tip the Barista who went to the trouble to correctly prepare your triple, half-caf, grande, 138 degree, percent, 2 pump vanilla, 2 pump hazlenut, with whip & caramel on top, latte - double cupped in a Venti cup.

6 - Give a compliment once in a while. I promise, it won’t kill you. At the very least, you’ll make people feel special, at the most, you might end up with a wife - like I did.

7 - Don’t overstay your welcome. When you find common ground with people, it’s easy to hunker down and explore all the points in your topic of conversation and end up exhausting your welcome. But unless you’re both unemployed or sobering up before driving home, that’s rude because it means you don’t value their time. Unless they indicate otherwise, assume that others have other obligations that will require their time and attention. It’s better to be the first one to suggest continuing your conversation at another time, than to have them concocting a story about forgetting to pick up their pet iguana at the kennel to end the conversation. Whew!

8 - Be on Time. Okay, my wife is going to laugh at this, because I don’t have a good track record for punctuality. But from what I hear, it’s a sign of disrespect to be late. So, I guess I have one to work on. I guess if I work on my weakness and you work on yours, then we’ll all be better off!

BONUS TIP - Smile! It’s a lot easier than frowning and it makes the world a brighter place!